yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
