you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
