i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
