If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
