I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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