i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
