so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
