so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
