So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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