i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
