How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
