So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
