garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
