You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
