i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
