Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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