it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize