Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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