Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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