No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
