she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
