you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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