to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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