But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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