That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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