I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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