It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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