Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
