Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
just tell him i said nine months
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
