girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
