ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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