that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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