Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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