I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
kristin has been a bad kristin
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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