So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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