The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
