and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
