So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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