Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
