so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
