Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
