3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
