...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
