Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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