i cant cry in cvs. not again.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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