New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
