how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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