Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
