I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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