any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
