is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
