On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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