please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
well you can't waste a boner
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
sex in a hospital.. check
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
